Living With Depression Part 1

Ever since the age of nine, when my mother divorced my father against his will and married my first stepfather, I have suffered from a bio chemical based depression. Though the type of depression I suffer from is a mental health issue I do not consider it a mental illness per se since my depression is bio chemical or organic in nature and can be managed quite successfully. For years I have taken a natural herbal supplement called St. John’s Wort which is used in Germany to treat depression. Recently increasing my daily dosage from one capsule in the morning along with a Super B Complex and my thyroid medication to taking another capsule of St. John’s wart in the evening before going to bed.  
Due to the on going problems (of many years duration) I’ve been having both at work and in my marriage I recently decided to get help by checking myself into a Behavioral Health Center. And even though I was admitted under a 1013 Involuntary Hold because I had declared that I was considering taking my life. I never felt that I was in the hospital on an Involuntary basis since I had walked in under my own power and of my own free will; seeking help to deal with the stress caused by my inability to resolve the issues I had both at work and at home along with the catastrophic failure of my coping mechanisms. 

Once there I was able to physically rest and reach out and connect with several of my fellow patients. Even though the Doctor who saw me misdiagnosed the type of depression I’m been suffering from (for forty-nine years and managing since my thirties) after speaking with me for ten minutes or so discharged me from the Behavioral Health Unit the afternoon of my second day. I learned a lot by attending and participating in the group therapy sessions, having some very intellectually stimulating discussions with several of my fellow patients who suffered from Postpartum Depression and alcoholism.  

More importantly I was able to rediscover or get in touch with the part of myself that I had lost sight of many years ago as a result of my intense focus on my problems. And I found that instead of the negative self image I’d bought into over the years my positive sense of self worth had been restored.  

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